Beta Females CAN Cope with Alpha Females

The following advice was gleaned from my Alpha Female mother when I expressed my frustration at handling certain personality types during my practicum. It mainly has to do with my Beta Female personality briefly fooling the alpha female into thinking I am of her ranks so as not to be ripped to shreds or worse, treated like a child.

Women, like dragons, will eat you where you stand

and barely stop for a toothpick.

1) Distract. If they are in a position of authority, ask them questions unrelated to what their authority is in. Example: for my preceptor, I asked her questions about her upcoming New York trip, her children, etc. By conversing on an neutral subject, you are seen more as equals. Warning: make sure it is one that they LOVE to talk about, or you will be counter productive in your aims, gibbering on in a one sided conversation like the ultimate prey, the bimbo.

 2) Act confident. Being told you are doing it wrong tends to make Betas more hesitant as they double think their every word and action. Alphas sense this weakness and assume we are incompetent. Remind yourself that you know what you know. This works best with #3

 3) Don't care. If you care about their opinion, you are giving them more power over you, thus putting them in a position of authority, allowing them to stomp on your confidence like a floor full of peanut shells. Not caring about impressing them makes you more confident as well, assisting advice #1 and #2.

Mr Bear thinks you are crazy.
Mr Bear is memorizing every word.

4) Speak assertively. Our passive Beta female personalities like asking if we are right, thus garnering both approval and equally passive compliments. This is seen as another weakness to the Alpha Female, leading to the afore mentioned "you are incompetent" mind frame. Do not end sentences with an upward lilt, like you just stepped out of an Irish film. Do not ask if you are right. Don't ask how they would do it. State how you are going to do it. State that you would like their input.

Example: "I am going to _____. Afterwards, I would love to hear how you would _____ differently." Alternately: "This is what I do, but I am interested in knowing what you do." These assertive comments show that you know how to do the procedure, but are open to suggestions IF YOU DEAM THEM CORRECT. This means you are not simply a follower, you made your own choices and are thus an equal and no one's fool.

5) Redirect anger. This is one many of us Beta personalities already practice. In a non-blaming manner, don't allow the anger to latch onto you. Example: "I understand your frustration completely. I have been having the same frustration with _____." Again, this is putting you on equal terms with the advantage of allowing you to have a small bonding moment in a shared rant.

Some of these are counter intuitive to the Beta female and go against our every instinct. They can be especially hard to manage when you feel put in the spot. That being said, this really helped my practicum experience.

Good luck, Beta Female! And let me know how it goes.